Updated: Jul 3, 2020
June 03, 2020 Alibaug, India Author: Cul Prit Interviewee: Doorknob Goeswami
Today we have the pleasure to be able to bring you these special ‘news‘ alongwith the greatest and the best, the smartest and the most influential person in the media industry, Honbl. Dr. Sir. Mast. Doorknob Goeswami, he is the owner and primetime show host that goes by the name Shout Hour Debait. Following is the text version of the interview-conversation that happened over video call. ______
CP is Culprit
and DG is Honbl. Dr. Sir. Mast. Doorknob Goswami.
CP: Hello esteemed, Honbl. Dr. Sir. Mast. Doorknob Goswami, we are so glad to have you on FUnK News, such tough times these are, how are you doing?
DG: Cul, I have not time to waste come directly to the point and stop lying to the nation, these are not tough times, these are easy times, happy times, India has never been more happier and prosperous! I am great by the way, thank you for asking, India wanted to know!
CP: Sir, I totally agree with you on many points but considering people are fighting COVID-19, we are facing food shortages in many rural areas, the Locust attack, and now the Nisarga Cyclone, these seem to be tough times.
DG: First of all, Covid-19 is a Chinease product, second of all everything is good! And this cyclone, it is an attack on Me, the CONgres financed Batlighis started created the cyclone so that great and true journalist like me can not spread the truth about the state governments wrongdoings in Maharashtra.
CP: Sorry Sir, I do not understand!
DG: Where did the Jihadi cyclone originate?
CP: The Arabian Sea.
DG: Exactly, CONgres paid Pakistani ISI To create the Cyclone and disrupt India so that they can blame Modi for the economy.
CP: Do you really believe sir, that this Nisarga is a man made cyclone, what about the one happened in Bay of Bengal?
DG: India wants to know why do you keep calling the cyclone Nisarga? Call it Mannat Jannat or Tiemur for Ram’s sake!
CP: Apologies Sir! Sir, what do you think the govt. can do to prevent further escalation of economic collapse and human loss doubling up due to the Covid Situation and the Cyclone.
DG: Yes, absolutely, PM Moody, has done so much for the country, he fought Covid-19 head on, he has promised investigation into Cyclone Jihad, Amit Shah the greatest home minister himself signed treaty with locust head and sent the locust to China! Mitron, mota bhais are the best!
CP: Let me please rephrase my question, What actions will our honbl. PM and his govt. Take to stop economic And human loss?
DG: The public should stop using Chinease product, the Janta should be practising Atmanirbharta and start cleaning gutters, themselves, their houses and Loans, the CONgres and the Tukdey Tukdey gang should be Practising Antimsanskar.
___ Apologies readers, Cul Prit went ahead and started asking some questions off script which angered Doorknob and he was taken (respectfully) to an unknown location by someone from a “Sena”, hence we had to end the interview abruptly. We apologise for the same.